紐約城市計劃感想

今年書假很特別，沒有像以前一樣回臺灣。

雖然沒有回去，很想家人也很想一起長大的好朋友，不過因為參加了InterVarsity大學團契地紐約城市計劃，在紐約六個禮拜的實習和活動，我交到了好多很酷的朋友，也學到了不少。

今年暑假在紐約學到了什麼?

我學到了很多很多，我也很感謝上帝一直不斷的提供我得須求。從到爸媽同意讓我去紐約，到大家大方的幫我募款到三千元，我都很感謝我身邊有這麼多支持我的人。因為有大家的支持，我今年才有機會去紐約，追求夢想，參加短宣，學著幫上帝服務身邊的人。

我要稱謝你，因為我的受造奇妙可畏；你的作為奇妙，這是我深深知道的。 ～詩篇 139:14

今年暑假本來想說我會學到怎麼用商業傳教，身為商學院的學生，我決得要做有意義地生意，賺有意義的錢。我覺得念商除了可以找到一份好工作之外，也是一個非常影響力的事業。但在神的schedule跟我的不太一樣，祂想要先讓我找到我的做事的動幾，祂想要讓我知道祂很愛我也很想擁抱我，祂要我相信我自己，因為我們必須先自己相信福音的力量才能傳達福音給身邊的人。神不管怎樣都會深深的相信我們。祂很萬能，祂其實不需要我們，但祂還是信任我們把任務交給我們。因為祂很愛大家，所以祂決定創造了你跟我。

我今年學到，只要有上帝跟著我，其實沒有什們好怕的。我可以好好有自信的做自己，因為神會給我力量好好努力度過每一天。:)

我今年暑假也學到上帝要我們關心和為世界上很多不公正的問題禱告。

很多時候一聽到這些問題常常會覺得和我無關，但有時候也想要大力支持幫忙。但是今年暑假我學到其實神自己就可以解決和幫助這些受傷的人，我們其實沒辦法做什麼。在想做義工，幫助他人之前，其實是要先尋求正義的上帝。我們會不知不覺的決得我們可以解決這些世界上很多不公平的事，但其實在想在做這些事情之前，我們應該先禱告。禱告的力量是非常大的，不關是大事還事小事，神都有在聽，而且祂都會幫助我們，或提供給我們可以幫助世界的機會。如果沒有禱告，我今年暑期實習的組織今天可能就不會存在了。

雖然這是有點縮短版的翻譯，但我希望大家看完之後也可以感受到神的愛和力量，更要和大家說聲謝謝，沒有你們的支持，我就沒辦法去紐約學到這麼多東西了！

感謝大家也感謝上帝！

NYCUP reflections

GOOD NEWS – I am all moved out of my old apartment, everything is in storage now, and I’ll be ready to move into my new apartment in just a few weeks! So glad I am finally done moving out! Big thanks to dad who came all the way from Taiwan to help me out!!!

So, what’s going on these days after NYCUP for Nancy?

I’ve been hanging out with family a lot. Going places with dad, and now I am visiting my sister for a week in Illinois! Lots of traveling, but I’m glad I got to hang out with my sister after all! 🙂

Spending time with dad, my aunt, my cousin, and family friends in Cincinnati was really great, but it also means every conversation is in Chinese. And when everyone asked what I did and learned in New York this summer, I also have to answer everything in Chinese. One thing I realized recently is that trying to explain everything I learned – LoGOFF, human trafficking, gaining confident through Christ, hugged by Jesus, finding my motivation- in Chinese… Is SO DIFFICULT, especially after spending the whole summer in U.S. and not speaking Chinese very often (In the past, it’s usually the opposite, haha. I would speak a whole month of Chinese, and I would have a hard time explaining everything in English when I come back to the States for school). Translating everything I learned in 15 second, a minute, and 20 minute is different, or I should say, much harder than I thought.

One night after coming back from NYCUP, I was trying to explain LoGOFF to my mom in Chinese but words weren’t coming out as I have planned. My sister had to help me a whole lot in order for mom to understand. My mom and I both got really scared. For me, it is because I am starting to realize how much my Chinese has worsen over the past 7.5 years… heh. For mom, it is because she was scared she wouldn’t be able to communicate with me anymore if my chinese keep going down hill. I’ve never thought about that before, and I’m starting to understand that language can be such an important component to my family, especially my mom.

Anyways, so I thought about writing my thoughts in English first, and then translate everything to Chinese. It might sound kind of crazy, but I’m going to try! I would love to share with my English-speaking brothers and sisters what I learned this summer, but also my family here and in Taiwan. Our God is a God of every nation, not just in United States, not just in New York and Ohio, but also in Chinese and in Taiwan too. I know even though I am not best at Chinese anymore, but I believe His message will come through, no matter what the language is. 🙂

Here goes!

What did God teach me this summer at NYCUP?

I learned… A LOT! Words can not describe how thankful I am for the many ways that God has provided (From parents saying yes, to raising support, to having so many loving supporters in my life, to having the opportunity to paint shoes) to make going to NYC this summer possible for me so that I can further develop my heart for missions, for justice, and learning how to be more and more like Jesus.

I learned that I am FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE – 

As mentioned in an earlier blog post … Besides having the opportunity to serve the city, Nomi Network, and other brothers and sisters at NYCUP, I was also served a lot (and learning to be served too) by God and by the people around me.
The reason I want to say that is because I came to NYCUP thinking I am going to learn only about business as missions with Nomi, and I was SUPER EXCITED. However, God actually has other things he wanted to show me before I can do that. He wanted me to find my motivation, to know that He loves us and wants to hug us, to believe in myself of who He made me to be, because we can’t proclaim the Gospel if we don’t fully believe in it ourselves.  I learned that if I want to be a leader for God, a big sister for other sisters, to do business as mission for His kingdom, I need to first fully believe that I am fearfully and wonderfully made before I can tell other people to believe in that too. God believes in us, despite of our lack of ability and brokenness. He doesn’t need us, but He wants to use us and He created us, simply because He loves us.  In my earlier blog post when I was waiting for my flight back to Cincinnati, I mentioned one of my biggest weakness is lack of confidence/assertiveness.  I minimize myself a lot, and I didn’t think it was an issue at all.  However, this summer I realized that because of that, it also hinder me from responding to God’s invitation.

I am learning – learning to FULLY believe that I am fearfully and wonderfully made, and I can be confident because I have Jesus with me.   Jesus didn’t hide himself and minimize himself, He stood up and speaks the truth.  God also made me so that I have a voice – a voice that other people would like to hear, and not a voice that is meant to spin around in my head expecting other people to understand what I am thinking.

I also learned that God gave us a heart to CARE and PRAY for injustices and exploitation in the world – 

Ever since my first urban plunge in Cleveland with InterVarsity, the city just always grabs my heart.  The poor and the hungry breaks my heart, and in my mind, I thought homelessness is the only thing going on in the city, and I thought it’s ok to only care about one issue.

The truth is – there’s A LOT more things going on in the city in the United States. The richest of the riches who lives in 740 Park Avenue in New York and how they have crazy amount of power that cause America to be the way it is today, the massage parlors that are actually brothels in Chinatown that I didn’t want to believe exists but it’s there, immigrants who struggle to make a living in the United States looking for brighter future that their home country might not offer.

All these things are really hard to take in, some I can deeply relate to, some are totally new information to me.  Instead of being indifferent and thinking “it’s none of my business,” I am learning to care and pray for not only those who are being exploited, but also those who exploits other people.  Those are God’s people too,  and God cares about these people just as much as the homeless.  I learned to not put all these issues on my shoulder, but to give these things to our God.

Giving it to God also means to PRAY.  Prayer is not just a gateway for us to talk to God about our personal things, it’s actually really powerful and it can actually change the world.  (Without intentionally setting aside time to pray, Nomi Network wouldn’t be here today, LoGOFF wouldn’t be here today, and a lot of other Kingdom Organizations that are doing work for God wouldn’t be here today – that’s how powerful prayer is).  Our God is big, He is powerful,  He is the answer to these problem, and He listens to our prayers.

Seeking justice doesn’t mean you must join another movement on campus or volunteering at a human trafficking organization, it starts with praying and seeking the God of justice – then He will guide us and lead us with the next steps on how to care for the oppressed (Deepening the Soul for Justice by Bethany Hoang – y’all should read it!)

Lastly – 

I am not perfect, and as another school year is approaching quickly, I am also scared – because it is  REALLY easy for me to go back to where I was again, the pre-NYCUP Nancy.  So please keep me accountable! 🙂 If I shrink back like a turtle hiding in its shell when I am talking to you or during discussions, or if I say sorry for no reason, just simply say ” Nancy, sit/stand up and speak up,”  I will really appreciate it!  And I would love for you to join me and pray with me – for each other, for our campus, and for the world! Just grab me sometimes, and I’d love to pray with you! 🙂

 

I’m thankful for His love for each and everyone of us, and I pray that as we get ready for school, I will remember all the time the motivation that I found when I was at NYCUP that motivates me to continue to be a follower of Jesus –  that one day, God’s glory is going to fill the whole Earth, and everyone will sing so beautifully together that there will be no more darkness, and even the worst places will bear fruit – it’s going to be so amazing!

God is good!!

*Chinese in the next blog post

Lord, Prepare Me to be a Sanctuary

Lord, prepare me to be a sanctuary
Pure and holy, tried and ture
With thanksgiving, I’ll be a living
Sanctuary for You

Ever since I came back to Ohio from NYCUP.  Things have been a bit BUSY.  Lots of driving, packing, boxing things up, cleaning…. things like that, to get ready to move out of my apartment.  There was one night where I decided to drop everything and take a walk on the Olentangy bike trail and use the time to talk to God and reflect NYCUP, and thankfully the combination of fresh air, sunset, and the presence of Holy Spirit was so helpful! (another blog post coming soon, as soon as the whole moving business is over! 🙂 )

My dad arrived Ohio safely yesterday, and in the next few days until the 31st, I’ll continue packing, boxing things up, and driving back and forth from places.  Moving out is so exhausting! Dad is also still jet lagging, please pray for us for energy and strength and that moving out process will go quickly and smoothly.

—

Anyways, the reason I post this song is because as I was getting ready for bed last night, this song just came to me out of no where.  Of all the worship session we had at NYCUP, this song has got to be one of my favorite.  The words are so simple, and yet it is so meaningful at the same time.  After singing it over and over again, instead of just humming the tunes, enjoying the music, I was actually immersing myself in the lyrics.

It gave me a lot of peace listening to this song, and I also have a few prayers  –

I’m praying, praying that I can be a sanctuary for my family, even though they haven’t accept the invitation to God’s kingdom yet, but I still pray that I can house them in God’s house, through actions, words, and love, and that their hearts will be touched by God’s love

I’m praying that I can be a sanctuary for the incoming freshman to OSU, I pray that I can be a big sister in Christ to them, and that I can be a bold, patient, and humble servant of God for our campus

I’m praying that I can be a sanctuary my loving brothers and sisters in Christ,  I pray that God will deepen my friendships with them and that we will be reminded all the time that Christ is the center of our friendship with everything we do

I’m praying that I can be a sanctuary for the business students at OSU, I pray that with the armor of God with me, I can be bold, I can be brave to be a witness of Jesus to them, and I pray that business students will be attracted to this unconditional love that God has for ALL OF US.

God, our Heavenly Father, I’m going to give these things to you, because nothing is too wonderful for you, and because you are big and powerful enough.

Thank you, for loving us so much, and we love you,

Amen.

I am fearfully and wonderfully made – nutshell version

Due to weather, flight traffic, and lack of connecting flight time, instead of arriving Cincinnati at around 7pm tonight, I’m actually stuck in DC until 10pm and won’t be home until probably around midnight.

So here I am, sitting at a nice little table in the food court in the waiting area in the airport waiting to board my flight.  According to the community temperature reading, I would say I have a complaint.  I noticed that my flight situation is really annoying and I am feeling really frustrated, and I would really prefer if there weren’t any delays, that way I would have arrive Cincinnati at around 7 pm instead being stuck at DC until 10 pm.  However, I also have some appreciation and hopes and wishes as well.  Instead of being bitter and frustrated, I appreciate this big chunk of time, because it means more time to process this summer for me, and some time to reflect all the precious moment from NYCUP this summer.  My hope is to finish a blog post before I have to board my flight again, that way I will feel accomplished, my brain will be deciphered, and I can face heading back to campus with courage instead of fear and confusion.

So what have I learned this summer?

So the last few days when we were debriefing together, we all got a re-entry packet.  I didn’t find it helpful as we were debriefing, because I would prefer if I could just write with mindlessly and just have some intense introverting time.  But now that I am looking at the packet again, I actually really appreciate it, because it will help me with this blog and it’ll help me finish process my thoughts more efficiently instead of going in circles.

In a nutshell –

What I learned about myself:

If I were to tell you in 15 seconds what is the most significant thing that I learned about myself this summer, I would say that that it was a summer of discovering my identity and finding my confident through Christ.  Before NYCUP, I don’t think I’ve ever believe in myself, even though God believes in me this whole time and I was rejecting His love for me.

Psalm 139 hit me BIG time this summer.  All this time, I always minimize myself, thinking I am not capable, I’m not good enough, but our Father didn’t make me so that I would feel incapable.  His works are wonderful, and I AM His works, and each and everyone of us are His wonderful works.  He fully believe that, I, too, can be the light to darkest places.  I learned that with Christ in me, I can be confident, I could be a dangerous women for God like Diana and Supei, and I only need to trust and believe, and accept His gift of love for me.

What I learned about God:

Man, GOD IS SO BIG!!!!!

He is big enough for all the issues and problem on this earth!

This summer, I learned about a lot of different issues, from human trafficking, to immigrants, to how our food is made, to the richest people in the States and their impact on this nation.  There is so much STUFF going on in this country.  After every documentary we watched, after hearing every statistics, we would often feel this huge burden on our back, and thinking that we need to do something about it, and feeling overwhelm by the issues.  However, at the end of each of these sessions, Jonathan will always say and challenge us with this phrase – we are going to give these things to God.  We don’t have to carry to all this burden, we are not to meant to carry all this burden, because it is God’s job and He already did it when Jesus died on the cross. So we can pray, He gives us the power and strength to pray, and only through Him can we pray, can we take actions, and we just need to believe that He is the solution to all the injustices in the world, because our God is BIG and because He can.  Our God is just cool like that.

This is only the nutshell version of my summer, or the spontaneous flight delayed version.  As I process more, and pray more, I will update you all more about the post-NYCUP Nancy 🙂

 

Leaving NYCUP this morning was really hard, because I am going to miss every single NYCUP peeps and the city A LOT. I wasn’t ready to leave, but at the same time, it is time to leave, because God have some cool stuff for me in Ohio.

All in all, I’m thankful for every moment at NYCUP, times when I laughed, when I was angry and frustrated, when I was excited, when I feel uncomfortable, when I am confused…. ALL OF IT.

Thank you, our Heavenly Daddy, for everything.

United States is my second home

Yup, if I haven’t told you before, I am an immigrant.  I was born and raised in Taiwan and I moved to the States when I was in seventh grade.  My family and I came to the States in 2006, because we believe there are better education, better opportunities, and better future in the United States.

Why did I start talking about immigration all of a sudden?

Coming to NYCUP, I thought I would ONLY need to learn about the poverty, the poor and the hungry in the city, but the reality is that there’s actually more than poor and hunger going on in the city.  Tuesday nights is our documentaries night, and this week we watched a movie called “Entre Nos.”  It’s a movie about a family who came from Columbia and immigrated to United States, seeking for jobs, and better life that they might not have in Columbia. In the movie, the husband left the wife and kids, and the whole movie portrays the journey of how the mom and her two kids try to earn a living through every possible way she could find. They tried selling food, collecting cans, they had to sleep on the streets for a few nights and they could barely afford to live in a bedroom in the city.  However, at the end, the mom endure through the physical and emotional pain and overcome the many obstacles that was on the way, poured her life into her kids, and was able to continue to sell her empanadas, and her son is able to go to school as well. And her little daughter, who eventually got a Masters in Fine arts and made this movie in honor of her mom. (IS THAT COOL OR WHAAAAT?:))

Through out the entire movie, I can relate, but I also can’t relate to a lot of things. I can relate in some ways because my family and I, too, are immigrants to the United States.

As immigrants, it’s really fun and cool to be in a different country, I certainly enjoyed so many aspects of living in the US, but not going to lie, it was also hard as well.  People speak in different languages, cultures are different, the things people sell are different, food is different, the way people do things are different, and school is really different…  A LOT of things are different, some good, some bad, and it did take some time to get used to.  I am really blessed with the ability to be assimilated into the American environment fairly quickly, and because of that it made coming to the States a bit easier for me.  Unfortunately, my case doesn’t apply to everyone who came to the States during their middle school or high school years, and for them, being at the U.S. is difficult, it’s hard to make new friends, it’s hard to engage, and it’s hard to communicate.  In the movie, the mom only knew Spanish, and she couldn’t do a lot of things because she couldn’t speak English, and there weren’t any one who could be there to translate everything for her, and not everyone is patient enough to want to understand what she is trying to say.  I remember going through that and I know people who have face the same language barrier, and seeing that on the movie,  it made me wish that I could just go and translate for the mom.

The part that I can’t relate is the financial hardship for the family and how they are trying sooo hard to earn a living.  I am VERY blessed to born into a wonderful family where we are able to afford almost everything we need.  We came to the States, and we are able to have a nice place to live and not worrying about rent, food, water, electricity…etc.  It’s always hard for me whenever I see people living on the streets, and I always feel so much pain, and I often don’t know what to do.  I have a lot of resources compare to some of the immigrants in the States.   After watching this film, and I’m sure many would feel this way too, I am just really thankful for everything I have.  I know I complain about things, but the reality is I am pretty spoiled. 😛  I complain about the heat a lot, but there are actually thousands of people who have to sleep on streets and they probably feel much hotter than I do.  I have a lot of clothes, I have a great family, I have great friends, I’m thankful I have a God who provides, and I’m thankful that God gave me heart for the poor in the city.    As much as I want to say “I understand, ” I really don’t know what it is like to be poor, and I pray that I can continue to give those things to God, keep doing feed 500, keep learning how to be a light to the darkest corners, so that the people who are suffering can experience God’s love, the kind of love that is ultimately  what’s giving me strength to do everything I do.

As I was reflecting on the movie, I realized that the reason why my family and I came to the States is very different than the family from the movie.  There are many reasons why we are here, and for the most part, it was because of education. United States offers much more resources and opportunities for students compare to Taiwan.  Long story short, education in Taiwan is not perfect, and it causes a lot brokenness in many students and their family, and for my family, we think that crack on the mug can be fixed if we come to the States, and that’s why we came.  Thankfully, it was a good decision for our family, my sister graduated from college smoothly, and I’m half way done with college and we are both doing well :).  Sometimes I think about what it would look like if I never move to Ohio, and honestly, I think I would have been a TOTALLY different person, and most importantly, I might not get to be a follower of Christ if I didn’t move to Cincinnati! Isn’t that just crazy?

All in all, I’m here, in New York this summer, and it all began from my journey to the United States.  God has a plan and He knew it all along.

Good one, Jesus. 🙂

Simply Updates

I don’t have a specific agenda or a creative title for this blogpost like I usually do, I just really want to write, because I recently realized this is actually the best way for me to process my thoughts! 🙂

Anyways,

Tuesdays at NYCUP, we typically would watch documentaries about the different issues in the world. We’ve watched “740 Park Avenue,” and “Sex + Money” so far (both are great and thought-provoking).  However, this Tuesday, we did something a little bit different.  Instead of watching another movie, Jonathan decided to give us some time and space to come meet God, to break down our walls and just stand before  God and be who He makes us to be.  I remembered that day, I was SUPER tired, I fell asleep on the subway on the way to work and on the way back from work.  I just wanted to watch a movie and then BED! So when I found out we were going to have some time of praying and worshipping, part of me was happy because I LOVE spontaneous worship, and the other part of me was annoyed because all I want to do is just watch a movie! But it turned out that the night was needed and it was actually really spiritually refreshing to spend time and embrace myself in God’s love.  As our time began, it was hard to find peace in my heart.  I was still trying to digest all the things we are learning at NYCUP and some stuff that I buried deep down below in my mind that came up during the sermon at Church last Sunday when we visited New Life Fellowship church (which is an AMAZING church, if you ever visit NYC, you MUST visit this church!!!).  I didn’t know what to do to meet Jesus, there are so much stuff I need to pray about, to confess about, to talk to Jesus about… There were many walls that I need to break down and I was frustrated.  I started writing down some prayers, and prayed a little bit, and sit and listen for a little bit.  After praying and sitting for a while, I decided to pray for something that I’ve never thought of before – a hug from Jesus.  I love hugs, and many of you know that, hee hee.  Hugging gives me a lot of comfort, and a sense of security (except the awkward side hugs, haha).  I was like, “Jesus, may I have a hug, please embrace me, I love you, and I JUST WANT A HUG.  Jesus would you come tonight?”  Right after I prayed that, someone read out Psalm 139, and Psalm 23 back to back.  These are my two favorite psalms, or more so the two Psalms that I actually know and had a huge impact on my life.  Right at the moment, I finally feel peaceful, because God just embraced me with some legit hugs! haha. 😀 One arm being Psalm 139, the other arm being Psalm 23.  I felt joyful, peaceful, and thankful. God is good.

On another fun note, I got to spend my 4th of July in New York City AGAIN!! Last 4th of July, I spend most of the day walking around in soho and shopped.  This year, I am in the city again, and I spent most of the time in soho as well! So fun! 🙂 We first stopped by Chinatown and prayed for the brothels first.  As soon as I got out of the subway, the first thing in my head was – man, this feels like home! The smell of open air markets, the combination of fruits and veggies, and fish and shrimps, people walking around with their grocery carts, and all the stores are in Chinese and people speaking in Chinese.  Not going back to Taiwan this summer is different, I’ve never spent the whole summer in the States before, so being in Chinatown for a little bit feels like I went home for a few hours, hee hee.  But praying was both a good and sad experience.  It was good, because we were inviting Jesus to come into the space and bring hope to these dark corners, but at the same time, when I think about Chinatown, I think of bubble tea and good food, and not the brokeness that are hidden under my fantasy.  I really like Chinatown, and I really don’t like the fact that it is one of the hotspot for human trafficking in the city, but the reality is there are many massage parlors that are in Chinatown that offer more than just massages, and it breaks my heart to know that places that feels most like home is actually one of the most broken places in the city.  However one thing that I’ve been learning a lot at NYCUP is to be willing to give it to God and believe that He is POWERFUL enough to all these problem.  It is so easy for me to want to carry all the burden on myself and thinking that I can do something about it.  But the truth is, I can’t do anything unless I rely on God’s strength and let Him do it through me.  It makes me sad that we are praying for Chinatown, but at the same time, I’m thankful for the reminder that our God is big enough to fix all these issues, and I just need to be willing to give it to Him.  Later that day, some of us girls spend the rest of the afternoon walking around in soho and looked at stationaries and book stores.  It was so nice to get to spend some time with the girls here at NYCUP, I am seriously so blessed to meet some legit wonderful ladies this summer! We are all super different people and yet I just absolutely love everyone so so much.  We’ve been here for 3 weeks now, but it feels like we are all so close already, it’s CRAZY!

Found some fair trade cards!

Pretty cool book store, isn’t it?

It was such a fun day, and it ended perfectly with our weekly Bible study.  We studied Isaiah 58, and something that I realized was the style of Bible study at NYCUP is extremely different than how we do Bible study at OSU, It was hard the first few times because I didn’t how to participate, because it is so different, but I’m starting to get more used to it now! 🙂 The passage talked about fasting, true fasting, fake fasting, and what does sabbath looks like in God’s definition.  Even though I studied the same passage before, I still get so much out of it every single time!  Oh, the power of the Bible!

Friday morning, I got to skype with mom and dad, and grandma.  It was so great, and it’s so nice to see them again!! As much as I want to be a super independent women, I guess I actually still miss home a little bit, too, haha.

It was a good morning. 🙂 And a productive day too!

Tasks accomplished:

– Wrote a little note to everyone here at NYCUP

– LAUNDRY

– Bought a pair of flats in the neighborhood!  My comfy work shoes that I’ve been wearing for the past 4 years or so broke :(, and I really don’t want to wear heels to work every day.

– took a nap 🙂

– rest

Friday, I also got to help bring everyone’s sheets so that they can be washed. Who says you can’t grab 13 people’s worth of sheets with only two hands and one trip, haha!

Saturday, I got to visit the community garden again! We were gone for two weeks and the garden has already changed so much!!! I was in awe when I got there.  All the fence post are cemented, there were only 6 soil beds and now there are 12, and there’s now a little stone path to the garden.  Our task on Saturday was to pull out A BIG PATCH of weeds.  If you first saw the patch of weeds, I bet your first instinct would be “there’s no way.”   But after a morning of  some hard work and watering the soil with our sweat, we actually got a good chunk of weeds out and we can actually see patches of soil underneath the jungle of weeds!  Right before we leave, we also built a compost bin with pallets and zip ties, and IT ACTUALLY WORKS REALLY WELL!! My mind was blown.  It was one HOT HOT day and I got some wacky tan lines again, but it was so worth it and I had so much fun! 🙂 After studying Isaiah 58,  I was reminded that serving is part of sabbath, and having the opportunity to be part of the transformation of this beautiful community garden is such refreshing experience! (AND, in case you ever need to find a way to cool down after gardening the whole morning, the best solution is AN ICE COLD CUP OF BUBBLE TEA!)

So yeah. I know I already said this so many times already, but it truly is a blessing to be here at NYCUP this summer! This is seriously  one of the BEST summer ever!

Thank you, Jesus!

Finding My Motivation

It has been 2 weeks since I got to New York. First week was super slow and second week went by SUPER FAST! So weird.

It’s only been two weeks, but I felt like I’ve been stretched 200 miles. (In a good way, of course)

Ever since I got here, I’m committed to write down the highlights and lowlights everyday, and my roommate Sherin has been sooo nice and awesome and keeping me accountable in doing this.  There are so much I want to share, and I wish I can stay up all night and type every single thing that has happened so far, but then I wouldn’t feel restful afterwards, so that’s not good either, haha. I am going to do my best to share the highlights of my daily highlights with you and what I’ve been learning! 🙂 God is seriously the most intense, lovely, and nicest teacher anyone could have!

This summer at NYCUP, I did something that I thought I’ll never ever do, but for some weird reason, I still did it anyway. This past Wednesday, we stood outside of the Nintendo flagship store in New York city and protested against slavery.  ( A quick vision cast for you all: Minerals like coltan, tantalum, tungsten, are used in all our electronic devices.  These materials are also called conflict materials in Democratic Republic of Congo.  People in Congo are fighting over these materials, and men, women, and children are forced into slavery to work in those mines so that we can use it in our cell phone, laptops, tablets… etc. In the past few years, many big companies, like HP, Intel, Apple, have been more and more transparent with their supply chain and where they get their minerals from to the public and taking steps to minimize the use of conflict material.  However, Nintendo has not taken any action toward this issue and has a zero score on making progress toward conflict materials.)  When we were preparing materials for the protest on monday night, I thought it might be fun to protest once in my life, I mean, YOLO, right?  We had a lot of fun making mario hats, mustaches, and question mark cubes, while listening to Christian rap songs.  I called that night the best after work relaxing activity, haha. Even the protest organizer says it’ll be fun, we’ll get to wear hats and mustaches, so I thought, it has to be fun!  Wednesday morning came, we all woke up super early in order to make it to the protest on time.  All my enthusiasm from monday night kind of all slipped away and I started becoming more and more nervous.  I was nervous because there were a lot of people walking passed us and having weird looks on their face, and there were securities standing by the door to clear off the entrance.  Some people asked what we were doing, some just walked away pretending we were invisible, and some took pictures of us probably to post it on their facebook or send it to their friends.  I did not feel comfortable, but I stood and say “slavery is not a game” anyway.  The part I’m most confused about is where do I see Jesus in this protest, Jonathan can see it, a lot of other NYCUP friends can see it, but I just can’t seem to find where Jesus is in this protest.  I just never thought Jesus would support things like protests, and that there has to be some sort of better alternative.  That made me really frustrated, and I was trying hide it and pretending that everything is ok and that I am totally up for this protest.  Later that day I got to talk with Jonathan, it was suppose to be a quick question, but it turned into a conversation.  He challenged me to think what motivates what I do, and at that moment, I literally didn’t know what to say, because I don’t know what motivates me.  I love business and learning the various possibilities of doing business as missions, I love Jesus, I love serving, but how does all those things motivates me to do the things I do? After thinking about it, and feeling frustrated about it, prayed about it, and wrote about it, God actually answered me a day later during our small group Bible study.  We studied Isaiah 55, which is one the most memorable passages for me because we studied this passage at Cleveland Urban Plunge, but we look at it in a totally different approach.  What stood out to me the most was the last two verses of the chapter:

” You will go out in joy
    and be led forth in peace;
the mountains and hills
    will burst into song before you,
and all the trees of the field
    will clap their hands.
 Instead of the thornbush will grow the juniper,
    and instead of briers the myrtle will grow.
This will be for the Lord’s renown,
    for an everlasting sign,
    that will endure forever.”

Before we talked about the last two verses we were talking about what it would look like to have God as the base of everything we do, I remember sharing about my experience at Brooklyn Tabernacle again, and how beautiful it will be when God’s glory filled the whole Earth.  God’s heavenly choir will be singing joyfully everywhere, everyone will be filled with real laughter, and that it will be 100000000000 to the infinity times more beautiful than the awesome choir we saw at BT.  Right after that, Ismatu, our small group leader,  asked us this question, ” How does a joyful future motivate you?”  Right after this question was asked, I had a “GOOD ONE, JESUS” moment.  The past 24 hours when I was trying to figure out my motivation, and being frustrated with Jesus because I don’t know what motivates me to do the things I do, and right at that moment, I just realized I answered myself and not knowing that I did.  So what exactly motivates me to do the things I do? I realize it is the joyful singing from every nation, every tribe, every tongue that will be here one day, and that Gods’ glory is going to filled every possible corner of this Earth, and that it is so awesome that even the trees will clap their hands, and the worst and hopeless places will bear fruit and that they will be able join God’s heavenly choir and sing happily too.  The joyful image that verse 12 and 13 portrays and how everyone will sing and clap together for God, is what will motivates me to continue to be a follower of Jesus and do whatever I am called to do.

In a way, I guess I “found” my motivation, hee hee, and I’m glad God is so patient with me, leading me step by step, providing people here at NYCUP for me to talk to, and I’m thankful for another answered prayer.

Thank you, Jesus.

A Glimpse of Heaven

I apologize for this belated update.  It’s been a draft for a while, every night when I tried to finish it or want to write more, I either got  tired or frustrated, so I never actually finish it. BUT, it’s Saturday again! 🙂 I  got to sleep in (yes, I called 8am sleeping in), and I’m going to do some laundry, and I can’t wait to spend some boat load of time with Jesus. 😀

I want to share a few highlights from last weekend 🙂

Last Saturday was our first sabbath of summer NYCUP, and I actually did feel restful by the end of the day, praise God!  During the school year, I never seem to be able to fully rest my body and mind.  As weird as it may sound, I really am not a big fan of sleeping.  I do sleep, but I also LOVE waking up early in the morning.  There were many times where I would go to bed late at night and I would still wake up super early the next day, haha.  So actually taking a day of sabbath really was quite awesome. In the morning, we got to visit a “farm,” as Jonathan called it, hee hee.  It really is more like a garden, but a beautiful garden that can grow into a community farm some day 🙂 .  We got to work with the young governors from New Life Fellowship Church and we all did some pretty hard work that morning.  We all got our hands and feet dirty, dig some holes, pulled out LOTS AND LOTS of weeds, screamed at many centipedes and spiders and grasshoppers, put in some good soil, and got some wacky tan lines as well, hee hee.  Even though the work was tiring, but it was so worth it! Because we got to be a little part of the transformation for this garden.  When we were done,  I was physically really tired, but spiritually, I feel renewed.  That was such a good experience of  learning what it’s like to be a good steward of Jesus.  Being a follower of Jesus is more than just reading and learning, it’s also about doing! And spending the morning at the garden just reminds me how much I  love serving, and also learning how to be stewards and not just consumers all the time.

On Sunday, God showed me a glimpse of heaven when we visited The Brooklyn Tabernacle for the first time.  This is definitely my favorite experiences at NYCUP so far.  Growing up, I never went to church, and when I moved to Cincinnati, the only church that I know and go to is Cincinnati Chinese Church (And God did some wonders in me while I was there 🙂 ).  In college, I checked out various churches: college student focused, family focused, multi-ethnic focused.  However, I have to say that none of the churches I’ve been to is quite like my experience at Brooklyn Tabernacle.  When we arrived, I didn’t even know we were there, because it is so beautiful! The floor, the doors, the seats, the bathroom, I walked in and  thought, “is this a church?” I feel like I was going to a broadway show or something! 😀 When the service began, as always, it started with worship.  Man, worship was wuinakjkldjiabtlsiwmcopolmdnstbwlichg AMAZING! I literally can not stop smiling because my heart is overflowing with happiness.  When we were all worshipping, I was looking at the choir on the stage, and I saw people of different ethnicity standing on there, singing joyfully to our heavenly father, and IT. WAS. BEAUTIFUL.  I started picturing in my head how beautiful heaven would be, where there will be people of every ethnicity, every tribe, every nation singing loudly and beautifully together and it will be 1000000000 times more awesome than this.  Thinking about that just makes me want to jump up and down and run around!  I am just so thankful that I got to see a mini part of God’s choir. I’m literally smiling now as I  picture the choir in my head, God is so good. 🙂

so yeah. Finally finished this blog post, still got to polish some more drafts!

LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH.

A Prayer

Dear Heavenly Father,

On this restful night, Lord, I just really need to spend some time with you.  Lord, you’ve been so good to me, even though I really don’t deserve any of it.  Lord, being here at NYCUP is such a blessing, but it also boggles my mind to learn that our world is so messed up, and it drives me crazy.  Lord, what does it mean to be your kingdom worker? What does it mean to be a follower of you? How can we be good steward of yours, to live a life of glorifying your name and be able to bring justice to this world? Why do you pick me, of all the people to come to NYCUP, to learn about you, to fight for injustice in this world? There are plenty of GOOD choices out there, and yet you chose me.  Lord, I feel incapable, and I know that I know that you believe that I am qualified to serve you and bring you glory, but how come I can never fully gain confidence to believe in that?  Lord, I pray that during the time here at NYCUP, would you enter my heart, and transform me, mold me, and help me to have confidence in myself and in you, and learn to live boldly for the Gospel.  Lord, we are fearfully and wonderfully made, slowly but surely I’m learning to believe that I am a beautiful women that you created, and you have great plans for me and each one of the students here at NYCUP.  Lord, I confess that often times, because of fear, lack of courage, lack of belief, and longing for comfort causes me to say no to your invitation.  Father, would you help me overcome my fear and would you teach me to obey, even if it means doing something totally outside of my comfort zone.

Lord, would you come and pour your love over us, and teach us how to be more like you and let our only motivation to do anything be only you and not anything else.

Lord, come.

In Jesus’ name,

Amen.

Hard but Good

This week marks the beginning of my summer internship! AND we officially completed a whole week of NYCUP now, it’s crazy! 😀

Our God is so good and I am very blessed that God gave my awesome partner Nick and I an opportunity this summer to work with some awesome women at Nomi Network (http://www.nominetwork.org). Nomi Network is a non profit organization that is dedicated to fight human trafficking, especially women who are exploited in India and Cambodia.

Not going to lie, I was extremely nervous when I walk into Nomi Network’s office on our first day. Nick and I didn’t know what to expect, and we have no idea what we will be doing, and who we will be working with.  We just know that God is going to do great things and I was preparing myself to let God transform me through this internship.

On the first day, we got to sit down and meet with Diana, the president of Nomi Network!  Instead of telling us what Nomi Network needs help on, she wanted to learn more about us and see what WE would like to get out from the internship and what we want to do. Pretty cool, right?  Diana and Nomi Network really enjoy having interns with them, and she welcomes us in with much love :).  That moment, I realized something special about Nomi Network that I didn’t see in the other places that I worked at.  The women at Nomi Network, they absolutely love what they are doing and even though a big part of Nomi Network is volunteer based and it is a really small organization (for now), they are willing to pour their lives in to this mission because God has called them to and given them a vision of fighting human trafficking. And that just absolutely amazes me!

As we sat down and discuss the various tasks that we can do, and learning more about Nomi Network, the overwhelming feeling starts to creeps in in me more and more.  Not everything was what I expected, but God is good and I’m learning everyday!  This internship is challenging, but it’s ok, because I know God knows I can do this.  One thing that I’ve learned is that Nomi Network is very fast-paced, multi-tasked, and very busy all the time.  On the other hand, I am pretty slow-paced, like to do things one thing at a time, and freak out VERY easily when too many thing come at me at once.  It sounded like Nomi Network and I are on two completely different end of the spectrum, but so far I have been able to adjust to this brand new environment pretty well! Whether it’s learning how to use certain software or handling and shipping orders, Nick and I are starting to catch up the speed and becoming more Nomi-fied everyday at work! Haha.  Praise God!  Even though I always come back from work feeling super tired, but I think part of learning how to be more of who God wants me to be is not meant to be easy, and I really do appreciate able to be in a totally new environment and learning from the ground up.

So yeah, this summer is going to be hard, but it’s going to be so good too! I know God is going to place many challenges for me that will require me to be outside of my comfort zone, and I’m praying that God will continue to give me courage to face each challenge not with fear but with strong faith believing that He is going to guide me through it and I only need to trust and obey.

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